Clients from Hell

[Athaba]

Ich nehme an, dass ihr auch schon interessantes von eure Kundschaft gehört habt. Meine Favorit:

Me: “How can I help you today, ma’am?”

Client: “Is e-mail internet”?

Me: “I beg your pardon?”

Client: “Is e-mail on the internet? I have no internet, can I still read my e-mail?”

Me: “Well yes, you must be able to get online to view your e-mail.”

Client: “Oh, dear. I can’t see my e-mail.”

Me: “Well, let’s see. Can you open up Internet Explorer for me and tell me what you see?”

Client: “Open what?”

Me: “Your browser, can you open up your browser?”

Client: “My…my…?”

Me: “What you click on when you want to browse the internet?”

Client: “I don’t use anything, I just turn my computer on, and it’s there.”

Me: “Okay. Do you see the little blue ‘e’ icon on your desktop?”

Client: “You mean I have to start writing letters again?”

Me: “I’m…what, I’m sorry?”

Client: “I don’t have any pens at my desk. I just want my e-mail again.”

Me: “No, ma’am, your desktop, on your computer screen. Can you click on the little blue ‘e’ on your computer screen for me?”

Client: “Oh, this is too much work. I’m too upset. Just send me my e-mail. Can’t you send me my e-mail?”

Me: “We…okay, ma’am. Can you tell me what color the lights are on your router right now?”

Client: “My what?”

Me: “The little box with green or possibly a couple of red lights on it right now - it’s most likely near your computer?”

Client: “Lights and boxes, boxes and lights, just get my e-mail for me.


Me: “My test is showing that you should be able to get online right now. Can you tell me what you’re seeing on your computer screen?”

Client: “It’s been the same thing for the last two hours.”

Me: “An error message?”

Client: “No, just stars. It’s black and moving stars.”

Me: “…Do you see your mouse next to your keyboard?”

Client: “Yes.”

Me: “Move it for me.”

Client: “Move it?”

Me: “Yes. Move it.”

Client: “My e-mail!”

http://clientsfromhell.net/

[bananenBrot]

Das klingt ja so gefakt.
Aber wenn man mal ein paar Monate Amis erlebt hat, weiß man, dass die WIRKLICH so sind

Ach und das hab ich auch schon fast exakt so erlebt:

Client: We are very disappointed that it took you an extra day to do this project.

Me: I understand. However, the project was nearly twice as big as what we agreed on, a fact I pointed out to you in advance. Additionally, the overall time I billed for this assignment was 25% less than what you originally budgeted - as always, you got more work for less money.

Client: Yes, well you have far too many errors in the copy and pictures you uploaded

Me: Per your storyboards and emails, the errors existed in the content that I was given. You made the content.

Client: Still, I feel you should give us a further discount for content errors.